I Spy With My Little Eye… Bias

How cognitive biases shape what we see (and what we miss) about the people around us

by Kat Schulte | July 2025

Recently I was at breakfast with my youngest son Emmet and our little 6-year-old friend EJ.  We were having an el fresco breakfast at a lovely tropical vacation spot, and I was already soaking up the view and much-needed coffee.  EJ invited us to play “I Spy”, and she kicked us off:

“I spy with my little eye, something that is orange.” 

Immediately Emmet and I were off to the races scanning our environment for orange.  As we began shouting out orange items in our purview – and kept NOT finding the orange EJ was spying – I was overwhelmed with how much orange was in this place!  Where did all these orange items come from?!  I had JUST been enjoying this view and if you had asked me moments before what color dominated the view, orange would NOT have been a color I mentioned – green, blue, maybe pink, but definitely not orange.  And now Emmet and I couldn’t STOP finding orange … simply because we turned our attention to it.  

What else might we be missing, simply because we’re not looking for it?

The Brain’s Shortcut That Costs Us

I Spy is such a fun game for kids because it plays on different pieces of how our brains work.  Every split second, our brain is taking in SO MUCH STIMULI.  Our senses are sensing every sight, sound, smell, and sensation – it is literally too much for our brain to focus on.  So our brains ignore much of what we could be perceiving to focus on what is “important”.  Our attention is limited.  

Why We Miss the Good Stuff

So how do our brains determine what is important?  This is where a couple cognitive biases come into play:  

1. Negativity bias – We more easily see the negative than the positive.
Negativity bias is the cognitive tendency to focus more on negative stimuli, events, and memories, giving them disproportionate weight compared to positive ones. It’s essentially a tendency to dwell on the bad stuff and pay less attention to the good. This bias is caused by an evolutionary mechanism where negative experiences are more likely to impact survival, making us more sensitive to potential threats. 

2. Confirmation bias – We only see what we already believe.
Confirmation Bias is our tendency to process information by looking for or interpreting information that is consistent with our existing beliefs, and results in ignoring information inconsistent with our beliefs. Whereas negativity bias evolved to keep us physically safe, confirmation bias evolved to keep our egos safe.  We don’t like being wrong, and confirmation bias provides us the stability of having the answers and being right. 

Why This Matters in Leadership

This matters in leadership. A lot.

Awareness about these two biases is hugely important when it comes to working with, living with, providing feedback for, or developing other people – pretty much any interaction with others… particularly those we find challenging.  When we encounter individuals or systems that seem totally broken, or we struggle to find positive feedback to provide because it feels inauthentic to offer anything but critical feedback, the issue may be just as much within our own brain as it is within the external system or individual.  When we know that people need 5.6 comments of praise for every criticism and that people need hope from their leaders, we can not afford as leaders to be overly negative or critical.  We must see and correct our biases. 

And while there is no easy button for eliminating the effects of these biases, one powerful practice is to actively look for the good in people and systems.  This need not be naïve or inauthentic.  By understanding that our brain is over-indexing on the negative, the only way to get an accurate measure of truth is to look for the good we are missing to gain a more full and accurate picture of the person or system in question. 

When we look at it this way, being only critical is lazy; and it is in looking for the very true good we have not been able to perceive that causes us to be critical thinkers.  It takes work but pays off greatly in our own wellbeing as well as our success with others since it turns out people are more receptive to feedback if we don’t put them on the defensive with pure or constant criticism.  

3 Ways To Look For The Good In People 

1- Start meetings with “What’s working?”
Instead of diving into problems, open with a round of wins or shoutouts. It sets a tone of appreciation and shifts focus toward strengths.

2- Ask “What’s the hidden strength here?”
When someone’s behavior frustrates you, pause and reframe. What strength might be overused or misunderstood? (E.g., a “controlling” teammate may actually be deeply responsible and protective.)

3- Do a “positive scan” at the end of your day.
Before you log off or go to bed, take 2 minutes to reflect. This daily habit rewires your brain to look for good in real-time.

• What went better than expected?
• Who did something helpful or kind today?
• Who surprised you in a good way?

At the end of our “I Spy” game, EJ had to tell us what her orange object was, because we could not guess it: some orange flowers that were up on a balcony of our hotel.  And as she pointed them out, my immediate thought was, “Those are so obvious, how did I miss them?” This can be our experience with the people around us as well.  Once we start to see the good they bring, it can feel obvious, and we can actually rewire our brains to see this good more often. 

And who among us doesn’t grow and achieve when we are supported by someone who sees the greatness in us we may not even see ourselves?  It is one of the hallmarks of a great developmental leader. 

So the question is, what are we looking for?

CliftonStrengths is a highly effective tool to support leaders in looking for the good in others with whom they interact.  By providing common language for the very real strengths of each individual, CliftonStrengths provides handholds, prompts, and maps for places to start looking for the positive in the people around you.