The Humor Habit

The overlooked leadership skill that builds trust & connection

by Abbey Johnston | September 2026

 

Humor was something I picked up young. As someone who was frequently bullied as a child, it was a defense mechanism I learned. It helped deflect the painful comments.  Plus, I figured out pretty quickly that people like to be around people who make them laugh. While I am not thankful I was bullied, I am deeply grateful for the skill it forged in me.

Humor is a skill. It’s an underrated and overlooked leadership skill that has many benefits. 

But I’ve got a disclaimer here. All humor is not created equally. Humor that diminishes, mocks, is passive-aggressive, and is used as an avoidance tactic is not the kind of humor I am speaking of. Most of us have memories of being hurt by another’s attempt at humor. That kind of humor is not a skill and should not be tolerated in our places of work. 

I’m talking about humor that is connection-creating, inclusive, disarming, and humanizing (not de-humanizing) at its core. This kind of humor is a leadership skill.

 

The Right Kind of Humor


There is a common misconception that being professional means being stiff and serious—that the higher we climb in leadership, the more solemn we need to become. It’s true that as our leadership grows, we often carry greater responsibility and face decisions with more significant consequences. Those realities deserve to be taken seriously. However, we don’t need to take ourselves so seriously while we are navigating the difficult tides of leadership. And in fact, healthy humor can be a supportive tool even in some of the most tenuous situations.

At AGC, one of our core values is humor. We take our work very seriously – but not ourselves. We respect ourselves AND don’t take ourselves too seriously.  Those two things can live together, and we believe it actually allows us to be good at what we do.

Research consistently shows that leaders who use positive, inclusive humor build stronger relationships and more effective teams. Humor makes leaders more approachable, fosters psychological safety, reduces stress, strengthens communication, and encourages creativity. Most importantly, it humanizes leadership by signaling humility, confidence, and authenticity. Humor isn’t about being the funniest person in the room—it’s about helping people feel more connected, engaged, and empowered to do their best work together.

 

Three Ways to Build the Humor Habit

Here are three practical, research-informed ways leaders can intentionally develop their sense of humor without trying to become a stand-up comedian.

1. Learn to laugh at yourself first.

Self-deprecating (but not self-defeating) humor communicates humility and confidence. Share a harmless mistake, tell a story about a learning moment, or acknowledge an awkward situation. When leaders can laugh at themselves, they give others permission to be imperfect, creating psychological safety.

Try this: Start meetings with a lighthearted story about something that didn’t go as planned and what you learned from it.

 

2. Collect moments.

Humor doesn’t have to be spontaneous—it can be intentional. Pay attention to funny observations, amusing stories, or everyday moments that reveal something true about work or life. Keep a running note on your phone of things that make you smile. Over time, you’ll build a library of authentic stories that naturally fit conversations and presentations.

Try this: Capture one funny or unexpected observation each day and ask, “What does this teach me?”

 

3. Use humor to connect, not perform.

The goal isn’t getting laughs—it’s helping people feel at ease. Use humor to acknowledge shared experiences, celebrate small wins, or lighten tense moments without minimizing the issue. The best leadership humor is inclusive, never at someone else’s expense.

Try this: Before making a joke, ask yourself, “Will this help people feel more connected?” If the answer is yes, it’s probably the right kind of humor.

A Simple Rule of Thumb

Laugh with people, not at people—and be willing to be the first person you laugh at.

Looking back, I’m grateful that what began as a childhood coping mechanism eventually became a leadership strength. Humor helped me survive difficult moments then, but today it helps me create connection, build trust, and bring a little more humanity into the spaces I lead. I don’t think the world needs more leaders who have all the answers or who take themselves incredibly seriously. I think it needs more leaders who are secure enough to laugh at themselves, humble enough to invite others in, and wise enough to know that joy and excellence are not competing values. After all, people rarely remember the smartest person in the room—but they almost always remember the person who made them feel seen, safe, and a little lighter than before.

Funny Business

Here’s a small collection of our latest LOLs—the things we’re watching, reading, and sending to each other.

 

References:
Cooper, C. D., Kong, D. T., & Crossley, C. D. (2021). Leader Humor: A Systematic Search Scoping Review. Frontiers in Psychology, 12.
Mesmer-Magnus, J., Glew, D., & Viswesvaran, C. (2012). A Meta-Analysis of Positive Humor in the Workplace. Journal of Managerial Psychology.
Martin, R. A., Puhlik-Doris, P., Larsen, G., Gray, J., & Weir, K. (2003). Individual Differences in Uses of Humor and Their Relation to Psychological Well-Being. Journal of Research in Personality, 37(1), 48–75.
Martin, R. A. (2002). Is Laughter the Best Medicine? Humor, Laughter, and Physical Health. Current Directions in Psychological Science, 11(6), 216–220.
Kuiper, N. A., Martin, R. A., & Olinger, L. J. (1993). Coping Humour, Stress, and Cognitive Appraisals.
Garner, R. L. (2006). Humor in Pedagogy: How Ha-Ha Can Lead to Aha! College Teaching, 54(1), 177–180.
Isen, A. M. (2000). Positive Affect and Decision Making. In Handbook of Emotions (2nd ed.).
Edmondson, A. C. (1999). Psychological Safety and Learning Behavior in Work Teams. Administrative Science Quarterly, 44(2), 350–383.

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If you’re curious about what leadership growth could look like in your organization, we’d love to connect. AG Collaborative partners with leaders and teams to strengthen culture, elevate performance, and create workplaces where people can truly thrive.

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