Building Meaningful Relationships at Work

Five ways to dial up connection in the workplace

by Becca Zaagman | January 2025

Imagine walking into your parent’s funeral, and seeing your entire work team there to support you. This was the reality for a member of our team in 2024, and as I sat in the pews that day I knew that this was something so special. To feel supported and seen at work. To have coworkers that deliver meals and activities for your child. I knew the team at AGC was unlike any I’ve experienced and this moment cemented that fact – and in this blog, I want to try to capture some of the magic and turn it into tangible steps you can take to increase the coworker love at your org.

Did you know that a key indicator of employee well-being is belonging? And part of belonging is having strong relationships at work. But, it can be tricky to build real relationships at your 9-5. It takes time, energy, and effort, which are not abundant resources. Sometimes, it’s easier to put your head down and do the work. We all can picture the coworker who you try to avoid if you’re on a tight deadline because you don’t have time to hear about their kid’s recent achievements on the soccer field. Mostly kidding – but it definitely does come easier to some. Is it worth it to attend the optional potlucks put on by HR? Or to accept the invite to happy hour? Or to ask a new employee about their life outside of work? My answer to those questions is “yes”! So let’s dig into the why, the research behind it, and how we make it happen here at AGC. 

The Why

First a bit more about me for some context, I’m a lover of people, connections, and F-U-N (a 7 on the Enneagram iykyk) and also very extroverted. My strengths include WOO (winning others over), Communication, and Positivity. So, it makes sense that I think it’s worth it to connect with coworkers. I’m the one to organize happy hours, and pool parties and show up at your kid’s events. I’ve experienced firsthand the power of workplace relationships – having someone who truly understands to help process a tough conversation or a missed project deadline, is often better than friends and family can. I’m the kind of person that shows up with my whole self to work. You’ll see me laugh, cry, and ask to see more pictures of your puppy – all in the same day. Because when we can show up with our whole selves in our relationships at work, it means that we can show up with our whole selves IN our work. Which unleashes trust, vulnerability, and creativity in our work.

And, it makes work more fun and meaningful. It also has given me more of a reason to STAY at a place of work. At any previous job, my answer to why I loved where I work was always the same, the people!

The Research 

Don’t just take my word for it, Gallup shares that a sense of belonging is a key indicator of employee engagement and high engagement has an impact on many markers across the business– a 78% decrease in absentees and, a 51% decrease in turnover. I won’t get into all of the research, but one part that stuck out to me was their description of a culture of belonging:

In a culture of belonging:

• Everyone appreciates you for what you bring to the group.
• There is a genuine desire for meaningful relationships.
• There is an appreciation for the differences between people.

What a beautiful picture of a place I want to work. We each have a deep desire to be seen, known, and appreciated, even at work. One powerful aspect of using the tool of CliftonStrengths at work is twofold (and feeds into the three descriptors of a culture of belonging): one, we all understand how our unique qualities (our strengths!) make us valuable to the team. We can belong even if we are not all the same. And two, CliftonStrengths gives us a common language to name and own the distinctive contributions that we each bring. So, let’s get into how, on an individual level, we can strengthen our relationships at work.

The How

If relationships don’t come naturally to you, that’s ok. And, it still matters. Keep reading to learn how to turn up the dial on connection in the workplace. Here we go…

1. Put reasons to celebrate on the calendar

Birthdays and work anniversaries are a great place to start. You don’t have to spend hundreds of dollars or hours to celebrate. Making a coworker feel seen and celebrated can be done with a card and some pastries from the donut shop on your way to work. 

Example: Vanessa is our resident celebration expert and sneaks in on the weekend before a birthday to put up some balloons, banners, and other decorations. Her individualization strength shines as she picks a theme, a treat, and a gift card that the birthday person will love. Last summer we got to enjoy a “Chrissy lunch” to celebrate Chrissy’s birthday. It was a literal brown bag lunch filled with her favorite and usual lunch items (a sandwich, chips, fruit, and fun treats like gushers and cookies). The celebration only got more fun as everyone walked in dressed as Chrissy with their backward hats on! 

Strengths: Individualization

2. Share your weekend highlights

A great way to tune into life outside of work is to ask someone the highlight of their weekend. You get to see a glimpse into what matters most in their life. And a callback to Chrissy’s “Breaking the Ice” blog, the person gets a choice of how much to share and how vulnerable to be. This can be done in a meeting with a team or even just by stopping by a coworker’s desk and chatting with them. 

Example: We have a weekly team meeting on Monday mornings. This is the only time of the week that our whole team is in the office together. We kick off each meeting by sharing our weekend highlights (often a download of the whole weekend if we are honest), and it’s a real treat. We know that Kari’s highlights will often include getting her hands in the dirt, that Abbey is resourceful and will bike her way downtown to not miss a hair appointment, and get the update on Greg refinishing his floors. We often share many laughs during this time (dopamine hit!) and it sometimes gets real and we hear how life can be really shitty. It’s a time of connection before we dig into content. 

Strengths: Woo, Communication

3. Remember what’s important and follow up

When someone shares something important with you, it can go a long way to follow up with them the next time you see them. If remembering isn’t your strong suit, consider putting a reminder in your calendar or creating a Google doc for each teammate with important details or dates. 

Example: We are so fortunate to have Abigail on our team who is great at not only recognizing the important aspects of our team’s lives (an amazing skill in and of itself) but also at remembering to check in on them. She runs monthly check-ins with everyone on the team, and it is common to see her taking notes throughout a check-in so she doesn’t miss the important things. Our team will tell you just how cared for we feel when she checks back in on things that felt hard, things we were excited about, or goals we had mentioned since our last meeting. 

Strengths: Activator, Strategic, Relator

4. Practice gratitude 

There’s a saying, ‘People don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care.’ In this context, a simple note of gratitude can go a long way in deepening a relationship. The invitation here is to heighten your awareness and deepen your expression of gratitude—an easy way to lead with vulnerability. 

Example: Chrissy introduced a great practice to our team during one of our weekly team meetings recently – we loved it so much that we’ve even started using it in our programs! This micro gratitude practice only takes a few minutes and can be done at any time of the day, as often as you’d like. Grab your phone and write a quick text to someone you feel grateful to have in your life and let them know (as specifically as you can) how they are impacting your life. And just like that, you’ve not only made someone’s day but also taken the time to pause and reflect on some goodness you have in your life. Everyone is better for it. 

Strengths: Communication, Relator 

5. Seek out common connections

When work or life gets tough, someone you can confide in at work can be so helpful. Because, if we are being honest, sometimes it’s hard to care about the numbers on a scorecard when something is weighing heavy on your heart. Even without the ability to “fix” the problem, a friend at work who knows can be just what you need to keep showing up in the mundane. A simple reminder that “you aren’t alone” can go a long way in bolstering your coworker. Seek out someone who might be experiencing or has experienced something similar. 

Example: I had my first baby smack dab in the middle of the pandemic, September of 2020, and went back to work the following January. We were working mostly remotely and I was navigating childcare, breastfeeding/pumping, and right in the middle of his first sleep regression. I was exhausted and reached out to a few of the other new moms at work and named our chat convo, “the tired moms club.” It was so helpful to have a spot to seek advice and mostly solidarity from other moms who had been there. 

Strengths: Connectedness 

Progress over Perfection

We often get caught up in not doing something because it doesn’t feel important enough. But don’t let perfection get in the way of progress. Buying a coffee for a coworker when you know they are having a bad day, or a bag of Cheetos because you know it’s their secret favorite snack can go a long way.

Work doesn’t have to be lonely and if that is your current reality there are small steps you can take today to make a change. And it’s okay if this feels hard! Once you experience some coworker love, you won’t be able to go back. From my experience, leading with a mix of vulnerability, gratitude, and fun goes a long way in developing strong relationships at work and beyond.

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